Dear Sherlock:
by FeminerdyPotato
Summary: Write letters to the Sherlock characters and they'll respond! Leave ze letters in the reviews! May become T in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It's me again! Okay, so, the whole idea is that you guys write letters to the characters in Sherlock and they respond to them.**

**There'll probably be daily updates until I go back to school, in which case it'll be weekly. Love you guys! Leave letters in the reviews (K to K plus, pleaseee!)**

**I assure you, these guys are probably going to be a lil OOC.**

* * *

Dear Sherlock,

I WANT TO KISS YOUR CHEEKBONES- I mean wat.

Love, John.

Dear Jawn,

You think I haven't noticed that before? I'm a naturally observant person.

~SH

Dear DI Lestrade,

What IS your division?

~Everyone.

Dear Everyone,

Keeping Sherlock in line.

~DI Lestrade

Dear Sherlock,

Want to have tea later on at my place? Or yours... I really don't care.

~Molly

Dear Molly,

Can't, sorry. Must shoot the wall and go to my mind palace.

~SH

Dear Sherlock,

CHEEKBONES.

CAPE.

JUMP.

MORIARTY.

GOSH DARNIT.

~Me.

Dear FP,

It wasn't that sad. Emotions are stupid.

And my cheekbones and cape are quite awesome, I know.

~SH

Dear Moriarty,

I know you have my Jawn. Give me back my Jawn and nobody gets hurt.

~SH

Dear Sherly,

No.

~Moriarty

Dear Jawn,

THE FLOOR IS LAVA, JAWN! THE FLOOR IS LAVA! JUMP WITH MEEEE!

~SHERLYYY

Dear Sherly,

That's nice, Sherlock.

~JOHN. Not Jawn.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I never thought I'd get reviews so fast! W-O-W. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

* * *

Dear Mycroft,  
Exactly how many biscuits have you eaten today?  
~SH

Dear Sherlock,

PUT YOUR TROUSERS ON AND I MIGHT TELL YOU. WE'RE IN BUCKINGHAM PALACE.

~Mycroft

Dear Anderson,  
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MAN! IT IS STATISTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO LOVE EVERY ASPECT OF THE WORLDS ONLY CONSULTING DETECTIVE!  
Everyone in this fandom/ the world (lolol)

Dear Everyone,

He calls me stupid. NOBODY calls me stupid!

~Anderson

Dear Mrs Hudson,  
Have you ever given dating a second chance? There's a nice Italian man who owns the restaurant next door.  
Anonymous

Dear Anon,

I dunno... I have a lot to put up with, what with Sherlock and John upstairs... HOW OLD IS THIS NICE ITALIAN GUY?

~Mrs. Hudson

Dear John, (lolol a dear john letter, I promise I'm not breaking up with you!)  
We are out of milk again. Would mind getting some?  
SH

Dear Sherly,

Get off your lazy butt and go get the milk yourself.

Dear Sherlock,

So, I have noticed that you don't always treat Molly with the most respect, but you clearly care for her in your own way. Could you explain that to my unobservant mind?

-GR

Dear GR,

Molly is the closest thing I had to a friend before I met Jawn.

~SH

Dear Sherlock,

What do you think life is all about? Deductions and rules? You find sentiment fruitless and love a joke, but what would our purpose in this world be without it? Also, if you didn't have us, what would you be?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

The answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42.

And (Don't tell Jawn this) I never did find them fruitless or a joke. I found out when I was young that feelings only hurt. I save myself.

I wouldn't be writing this letter, I guess.

~SH

* * *

A/N: That last Anon letter was hard to write! Okay, apparently you're supposed to put disclaimers on this, so:

I AM NOT MOFFAT OR GATISS.

Until next time-

~FP


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I AM SO SO SORRY.

I LOVE YOU PEOPLE AND AM SORRY THE UPDATE TOOK SO LONG.

I WAS AT MY GRANNYMAMMA'S.

Looks like you guys really like this story, don't you!? I LOVE YOU GUYSSS.

Still owning nothing.

* * *

Dear Sherlock,  
I'm not hungry lets have diner.  
IA  
Dear IA,  
Sorry, I've got no time. Cases and all that. Plus I've got to shoot the wall.  
~SH

Dear Jawn,  
I might have burnt you jumper...  
SH  
Dear Sherly,  
WHAT NOW WAAAAT OH MY GAWSH YOU DID WHAT

Dear Moriarty,  
I'm way more evil than you.  
Anonymous  
Dear Anon,  
Orly? *turns away from the anon* Cool guys don't look at explosions.  
~JM

Dear Mycroft,  
What's my name today?  
'Anthea'

Dear Anthea,  
Try and guess it yourself, I'm FAR too busy right now. This cake was too good to pass up.  
~Mycroft Holmes

Dear Sherlock,

*sends him to a random park and puts up a privacy barrier so a certain someone cannot hear*

Do you have any romantic feelings for John Watson? And when I say romantic feelings, I mean like, the kind of feelings to grab him and kiss him and all of the actions associated with love.

Also, how would you react if your brother told you that him and Lestrade were having secret rendezvous in which you would be scarred for life? This is all hypothetical though.

Oh yeah, don't worry. John can't hear, so go right ahead and express your deepest desires for him. I have disabled all the CCTV cameras so that Mycroft cannot see you, so go crazy.

-TEH FAN-

Dear TEH FAN,  
Welll, there ARE times when I want to rip off his jumper and- I mean what?

I refuse to answer that on the grounds that I will most likely be scarred for life if I so much as even think about it.  
~SH

Dear John,

*drags him to 221B and puts up a privacy barrier so a certain someone cannot hear*

You know, you and that roommate of yours spend a LOT of time together...

Do you secretly have feelings for that highly functioning sociopath roommate of yours? I know he's sort of like, asexual-ish(WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S HIDING UNDER THAT LONG COAT THOUGH) but do you actually have feelings for him?

By the way, I have pre-occupied Sherlock with a...case...of sorts, so don't worry about him accidentally hearing about your feelings for him. Someone's got to melt that ice cold facade he has, right? ;)

-TEH FAN NO.2-

Dear TEH FAN NO. 2,  
Welll, there are times when I want to shove him to the floor or ground of wherever we are and tear off his scarf with my teeth- Wait, this is rated T, isn't it?  
Crap.  
The author lady is going to kill me for this.  
SHE'S ALREADY LOCKED ME IN THE CLOSET ONCE- *gets mouth duct taped shut* Hehe, jokes are fun, aren't they?  
~John

John-  
Stop being so adorable. You belong with Sherlock, and therefore need to stop making me love you:)  
-Bailey xx  
Bailey-  
Oh, um... Sure. Dinner tonight, perhaps?  
Crap, the author lady is coming. I WAS NEVER HERE.  
~John

Dear Sherlock,

Would you ever give Molly a chance? Of she directly asked you out?

Anon

Dear Anon,  
If I were just that bored, maybe I would. *shoots the wall*  
~SH

Dear Jawn,

Why do you put up with all you do?

Anon

Dear Anon,  
Because if I do what he tells me then maybe he'll let me kiss his cheekbones- I mean what things that I do? Buying milk? It's not really that much of a hassle. I like it, in fact.  
~John

* * *

A/N: I'm planning on writing a humor Johnlocky thingy. Infact, I think I'll do that now!

Byee guiseeee! Love yaaa!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I'M BAAAACK!

And with a question!

For those of you who've read my other stories, I've got this one called *Insert Awesome Title Here*. Would you guys like me to bring it back? I really liked that one, and all the reviews I got on it were good! Think on it. Pleeeease?

As for my other discontinued story, it's never coming back. Hate to say it, but it's gone. Bye-bye.

STILL OWNING NOTHING.

* * *

Dear Mycroft,

DO YOU HAVE ANY HILARIOUS CHILDHOOD STORIES OF LOCKIE?

Raychie

Dear Raychie,

Well, there is this one time when- Mmph! *gets tackled by a sheet-wearing Sherlock*

-Mycroft

Dear Sherlock

Is it true that your little bro is Q from James Bond?

Raychie

Dear Raychie,

YOU TRIED TO GET MYCROFT TO TELL YOU CHILDHOOD STORIES. I NO LONGER TRUST YOU.

-SH

Dear Sherlock,

What would you do if you and Jess (read my fanfics) got locked in a closet for 4 hours? Are you really as sappy as I write you? On the inside?

Author

Dear Author,  
I... uhm... Jess seems like a very, very nice lady, however... um... COMING JAWN! *runs off*

*Author-lady drags him back* Now, Sherly, answer their question!

But... Oh, fine. I... uhm... I doubt I'd do anything without getting to know her? And I'd definitely tell her entire life story back to her.

And I guess I am. I dunno. It's hard to concentrate with Jawn blasting Bruno Mars' Grenade in the next room.

-SH (And Author-Lady)

Dear Author,

Sorry about him. He's a little cranky after being locked in a closet for five hours.

-Author-Lady

Dear John,

I have pictures of red pants Monday. If you don't want them released onto the internets put on this kitty jumper,

*Hands author kitty jumper to give to Jawny*

and eat this clearly not drugged the heck up jam with some toast.

Sincerely, This-is-not-Mike, anonymous.

Dear This-is-not-Mike, Anonymous,

*eyes widen* SERIOUSLY? OH, I DON'T WANT SHERLOCK TO SEE ME IN- I mean wat? Oh, fine, I'll put them on. Just because I've got a reputation to uphold and people PHOTOSHOP anything of me that gets released on the interwebs... *puts on jumper* And thanks for the toast and jam! *omnomnom*

-John-not-Jawn.

Pst! Pssssst! Fp! Fpeeeeee!? There are drugs in the jam. I'll leave it up to you to discern what kind. :3

I'm guessing you were calling me? Well, I'm thankful that you told me and not Jawn or Sherly. :3

I'll give it to him and see what happens... Whoop. Jawn's collapsed in the floor. I'd better go take care of that.

I WAS NEVER HERE!

Dannnngit. I love you Jawn. Okeee.

Dear Anon-who-didn't-leave-a-name,  
Um... Love you too? I guess?  
-JOHN-not-Jawn

* * *

Insane amount of Johnlock here, guise. Insane amount.

Love you all! And I love this story!

Until next time:

~~FP


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry about the update gap! Love you guys loads!

Still not Moffat or Gatiss.

* * *

Dear Jawn and Sherly,

Oh, just make out already!

~The entire world (Care of the author-lady)

Dear The Entire World,

SHERLY? WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT!

And I don't wish to aquaint my mouth with Jawn's and move it around. I'm happy with whatever we are right now, thank you.

~SH

Dear The Entire World,

Can I just makeout with his cheekbones- I mean wat. Uhm... COMING MRS. HUDSON!

~JOHN-not-Jawn

Dear Everybody,

Y U NO WRITE TO ME?!

~Molly, Irene, and everyone else.

Dearest sherlylock,

Is it true that you and John have a thing? Tell him, I'm sure he loves you back! Who couldn't?

Gina!

Dear Gina,

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. GET OUT. I NEED TO GO TO MY MIND PALACE.

~SH

Mycroft,

Your opinion on Detective Inspector Lestrade? Also, is it true that cake is your division?

-Teh Fan-

Dear Teh Fan,

Lestrade is amazing in- I mean Lestrade? Who? *glances around* And... maybe, maybe not. Cake is quite good. Mmm, I want some.

~Mycroft

Sherlock and John,

YOU WILL...

*grabs both of their heads and smashes their mouth together so they can kiss*

That felt satisfying. Here's the camera! *throws author-lady the camera so she can snap a photo*

-Teh Fan-

Dear Teh Fan,

NOPENOPENOPEN-MWAH! *sloppy wet kiss*

~SH and JW

Dear Teh Fan,

Thank you! *snaps photo and glues it in teh scrapbook*

~Author-lady

Dear Jawn,

Where did you hide the skull this time?

- Anon

Dear Anon,

Skull? What skull? *looks at drawer and fridge, both places where he's hidden them before*

~JOHN-not-Jawn.

* * *

Bye for now! Sorry about the short chapter, by the way, hopefully I'll have more next time.

Until next time,

~FP


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I did it again, didn't I? Was there another update gap?

At any rate, back to school, so this will be the last Monday Update for awhile.

And I'm not typing up any more disclaimers; go back and read the ones from my other stories and previous chapters if you want to.

* * *

Dear Sherlock and Aquaintances (and your one true love JAWN),

What do you think about all of these (crazy yet totally believable but sometimes not although they are still awesome) fanfics? Do you wish some would even come true? *cough* *vampire AU* *cough*

Because sometimes I can't even handle it myself.

-ILY SO MUCH

Dear ILY SO MUCH,

Vampire AU, you say? *intrigued*  
-Molly

I have no time for such silliness. I AM NOT A VAMPIRE.  
-SH

I AM NOT HIS ONE TRUE LOVE.  
-John

We're all secretly wishing that the Johnlock ones would come true.  
-Everyone else

(post R-Fall)  
Dear John,

You must hold onto reality. Don't lose yourself to the depths of which whiskey will drag you. It's not worth it, I promise. Because all is not as it seems...

-A very concerned friend

Dear A Very Concerned Friend,

Thanks for your help. It's just... he's gone, and... It's so hard... Anyone have a spare hug?

-John  
Dear A Very Concerned Friend,

I'm keeping him away from the drink, although I think he sneaks it while I'm gone... It's hard sometimes.

-Author-lady

dear sherlock,

what's the deal with your freakin' deep voice?

-erin jaeger hanson

Dear Erin Jaeger Janson,  
Well, there's this thing... It's called Puberty. See, you- *gets tackled by the author-lady*

-SH

Sorry about him. He really needs to start thinking before he speaks.

-Author-lady

Dear Irene,

Do you miss Sherlock?

Anon

Dear Anon,  
Who's asking? *raises gun*  
-Irene

Dear Molly,

Why do you love Sherlock?

Anon

Dear Anon,

*launches into dreamy rant about his cheekbones, eyes, and infuriating-yet-adorable habit of deducing everything and everybody*

-Molly

Mrs. Hudson,

What's it like living with the boys?

Anon

Dear Anon,

I suppose it's a bit exciting at times, but there's never a dull moment.

-Mrs. Hudson

Dear jawn and sherlawk-

just make out already.

-Everybody with eyes.

Dear Everybody with eyes,

You mind donating your eyes to my experiments?

-SH

Can I just make out with his cheekbones- I MEAN

-JOHN

Dear Moriarty

I think you can do Better then Sherlock I mien the mien you are way to good for him why waist your time with him I will miss you so much I rely liked you and I got so much from doing story s about you I just did my first big one about you called me and the crimanl mind

stacy

Dear Stacy,

I KNOW I could do better than Sherlock! However, there isn't anyone interesting enough, you know what I mean?

Stories, you say? Hmm. *raises eyebrows* I'll have to read them.

-Moriarty

Dear John and Sherlock,

*throws the both of them in a broom closet, and locks it.*

*throws a note to the author which states, "There's a secret camera in the closet."*

-Teh Fan.

Dear Teh Fan,

Thank you. I'll go keep an eye on our favorite consulting detective and his flatmate. *wink wink*

-Author-lady

Dear Mycroft,

Don't worry, Sherlock's occupied with John, so you can safely confess that you're dating Lestrade. *smirks* Tell him I said hi.

-Teh Fan-

Dear Teh Fan,

I'll be sure to- I mean Lestrade? Who?

-Mycroft

Dear Sherlock,

I like your funny hat.

Nice scarf too.

Let Jawn make out with your sexy cheekbones.

-Nerdlocked

Dear Nerdlocked,

I... um... what.

Sounds boring. *shoots fridge* Oopsie. JAWN! WE NEED MORE MILK. I ACCIDENTALLY SHOT THIS ONE.  
-SH

Dear Sherlock and John,

Nowww kiss!

-Nerdlocked the second

Dear Nerdlocked II,

WHY ARE WE GETTING ALL THESE REQUESTS?!

-Jawn/Sherly (Care of the author lady because they're still in that broom closet)

Dear Lestrade,

Tonight, my place, 7:00.

-Mycroft (Care of the author lady who wasn't supposed to publish this... shhhh.)

Dear Mycroft,

Deal.

-Lestrade (Care of the author lady who could probably be arrested for this)

Dear Moriarty,

DO ME A FAVOR AND BUST ME OUT OF THIS HERE CLOSET

-SH

Sherlock,

Nah. I'm over here reading. The fans are pretty good authors. Ooh, Johnlock!

-Jim

* * *

If any of you have any stories you want me to read, feel free to drop me a PM! I don't bite!

Also: Follow me on Tumblr! I follow back! awkward-tater07

Until next update,

~FP


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: School. Yay. *sarcasm*

Anyways, let's cut to the chase:

Submit writing prompts to my tumblr: awkward-tater07

Still don't own anything.

* * *

dear john:

have you ever played miss astro chicken?

-ninja brian

Dear Ninja Brian,

WHO HASN'T?!

-John

Dear Anthea,

*whispers* Can you make your boss go jealous at the sight of you flirting with Lestrade? After all, it may make the sexual tension end!

Submitted by Raychell

Dear Raychell,  
Sure.  
-Anthea

Dear Jim,

Johnlock is awesome, am I right?

-stalker

Dear Stalker,

Duh.

-JM

Dear Sherlock,

How will you react when John starts sobbing after you tell him that you're still alive? You do know he will do that?

- Everyone

Dear Everyone,

Shhhhh! HE CAN READ THESE.

Wait. HOW MANY PEOPLE KNOW I'M STILL ALIVE?

DANG IT MYCROFT

YOU TOLD THE SECRET SERVICE DIDN'T YOU

-SH

Dear Sherlock,

How much do you love me?

-John Watson

Dear Jawn,

I don't. Who told you? Did Mycroft? I knew I shouldn't have let him read my diary. MYCROFT. -_-

-SH

Dear Sherlock,

HOW ARE YOU LIVING?

Just wondering *curse words* you

-Guest

Dear Guest,

WAT HOW MANY PEOPLE KNOW

DID MYCROFT TELL THE SECRET SERVICE

I TOLD HIM THAT THEY WERE TERRIBLE GOSSIPS

HE SHOULD'VE LISTENED

*rant on how Mycroft shouldn't trust the secret service*

-SH

John,

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO HOT? YOU AND SHERLOCK ARE PRACTICALLY DATING!

Johnlocked

Dear Johnlocked,

WE. ARE. NOT. DATING.

I just want to kiss his sexy cheekbones and... um... COMING MRS. HUDSON.

-John

John,

I HAVE A SPARE HUG

I love John

Dear I love John,

Aww, thanks! *hugs* I know I'm wonderful.

-John

Dear Sherly,

Do you know how to dance? See, I rented this ballroom for a night, and I have these custom Italian suits for you and Jawn, soooooo...

-Tabby

Dear Tabby,

Well, I used to dance with Mycroft on the weekends.

Okay, I'll come.

-SH

Dear Jawn,

I understand you can dance. I have made reservations for you and a significant other for tonight. I'll give you jam if you come ;)

-Tabby

Dear Tabby,

Who told you I could dance?!

Was it Mycroft?!

Was it his secret service!?

OOH JAM OKAY

-John

* * *

Eighth grade is stupid.

Ooh.

Maybe I'll transfer my feelings into a fic.

SHERLOCK IN A MINISKIRT PEOPLE

~FP


End file.
